Encouraging Self-Love in Our Little Naturals


It has been my experience that children, no matter how young or old, long for the approval of their parents. Just like everyone else, children want to feel loved and the first people they look to for this acceptance are their mother and father. Once we have children we are at once responsible for raising up positive, productive, citizens of the world. We are responsible for encouraging our little ones to love themselves. As much as folks would like to minimize the significant role hair has in shaping one’s self-esteem, the truth still remains:

“It is more than just hair.”

 The following is a little inspiration to keep in mind when speaking to your little natural about his/her hair:

  • Your Words Are Powerful!

A lot of parents do not realize that there is power in the words we speak over our children. Whether positive or negative, the way that we communicate with our little ones will help to mold them into the adults that they will become. Because what we say matters so much, we want to make sure we are speaking in a manner that will build up their confidence and inspire them to do better, even if they have just done wrong.

I cannot tell you that this will be a simple task. Encouraging and inspiring another person is not always easy, especially at times when you are stewing in your own negativity. Do your best to always speak in love. Give it a try and tell your child:

    • “You are wonderful,”
    • “You are smart,” and
    • “You are beautiful.”

 Tell Your Child: “You are beautiful”

At 10 months old, my youngest daughter began to brush her hair for the first time. She held it backwards and actually brushed her hair out of her ponytails, but she knew the purpose of that hair tool. This may not seem significant to most, but this lead me to believe that children understand a lot more than we think.

She watched her older sister and me at times when we didn’t even know she was looking. At just under a year old, she copied an action that shows she is aware of the hair she has on her head. At this stage in her life, there are no other influencing factors to shape the way she views herself. This is why I tell my daughters as often as I can: “you are beautiful.”

I am specific when I speak to them:

  • “Look how beautiful your curls are,”
  • “No one else has the same hair that you have,” and
  • “Your hair is special.”

Our girls need this encouragement. As soon as they are old enough to go out in the world without our protection (as young as elementary school) they are bombarded with the mainstream version of beauty.

What are some things you have done to encourage your little one to love his/her hair? Who has inspired you to embrace your natural texture?


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  1. NatruallyTru says

    Words are powerful—A SEED!
    My daughter is 20ish, when raising my daughter perms and weaves was heavy on the scene, and, to add to the chaos she attended school where there was not many that looked like her– BEAUTIFUL! She cried and BEGGED me for a perm–flat out answer–NO! I had to share with her how beautiful she was and that a perm or weave does not make you PRETTY. I told her she was too young and I will not be responsible for a murder–that is killing her hair before she gets a chance to know what it looked like, to understand the texture, how thick, strong and beautiful it is. There was no way I was going to put a dangerous chemical in a little girls hair. So, I got my behind up and did her natural hair once a week for school, every Sunday evening and she hated them hair styles. When she was in 7th grade all of her friends of color(very few in her school) was almost bald–SAD! She came home from school one day and told me THANK YOU!!!!! for not putting a perm in her hair, that so and so edges are gone, this one can’t make a pony tail, the other has a fungus from braids and the list went on. And these young ladies wanted to look pretty, they wanted straight hair, and long hair, you know GOOD hair, only to end up with NO Hair and never got the opportunity to meet their own hair before it was destroyed! Today my daughter is in her late 20’s and she is still natural, NEVER had a perm and now she thanks me every chance she gets for not putting a perm in her hair and for sharing with her that she is beautiful and her hair is BEAUTIFUL!

    • Cherrelle Shelton says

      That is beautiful 🙂 that’s the exact gift I want to share with my daughters…they need to know that they are beautiful just the way they are. They are very young now, but I hope to teach them self love that will last for a lifetime. Thank you for sharing your story!

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