Why are you natural?

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This REALLY resonated with me. Let me explain.

In my teenage years growing up in a small town where black people were the minority my top desire was to fit in. My skin colour was an obvious difference and I wasn’t able to change that. So what could I modify? My hair of course. So seeing these “popular” girls with their long, flowing straight hair and the desire to be one of them led me to relax my hair from a young age. To top it all off a strong sense of self-worth and confidence wasn’t really instilled in me from a young age. I always felt as though I wasn’t enough: “pretty enough, small enough, smart enough, light enough…” the list goes on and on. And I constantly compared myself with other people probably because I was constantly compared with other people and fell short.

Relaxing my hair resulting in tons of damage, breakage, stunted growth, tears, prayers, more tears and more prayers! All I wanted was for people to love me and accept me for who I was. Not make fun of my because my hair was different and because of my skin colour. My hair wouldn’t grow and I desired long, flowing hair so desperately. After all, that’s what young girls and boys and “the world” considered to be beautiful right? Those were the messages I was bombarded with every day. And so I continued to relax and my hair continued to break and become more damaged.

So I survived my emotionally turbulent teenage years and went off to university. You know – the place where the discovery of self is promoted. At that point I was secure enough in myself to know what was important to me and what wasn’t. And hair definitely wasn’t. I left the past behind me and was on to greater things and the meeting of new people. And while straight hair wasn’t that important it appeared that something else was: naturally curly, silky hair. So I found myself in the midst of self-doubt, self-loathing (sometimes), shame and insecurity about my own beauty.

University was over – I survived those years too! And I went on to naturopathic college where honestly, my hair was sooooo not important. Until one day – before natural hair was en vogue – I decided I had enough. This was in the year 2001. My hair was damaged, the length was definitely not adding up and I heard about this novel process called “wash and wear relaxer” created by the owner of a popular salon in Toronto. The hair was taken to about 80% straight so that some elasticity was left in the hair so that it could be manipulated without breakage. And to top it all off, the hair could be worn curly. It was a dream come true! I could have the best of both worlds – the curly hair I desired, straight hair if I wanted, and it would grow long and lush because it would sustain less damage.  I did my research, looked at the videos of women who were rocking this style and viewed testimonials from women who had the process done. So I excitedly made an appointment to get this wash n wear relaxer. At first only the roots were done as I was told I would need to grow out my perm. So I “relaxed” the roots and had my hair blow dried straight every time it was styled. And then my hair started to grow out gradually and all I could see was stringy, semi-straightened hair. Where was the curl I was promised??? And to top it all off, it started to break in patches. I made an appointment to see the salon owner who investigated my hair. She was in disbelief that her product would result in breakage. After all, I was supposed to have minimal damage to my hair due to this process. After investigating she told me that it was alopecia due to stress. She was adamant about this. Did I believe her, of course not. But I was given no suggestions, no real course of action. So once again I dealt with my hair issues and started to grow out my hair with braids.

After a few months I decided to absolutely go natural. So I went to another salon that “specialized in natural hair” and my hair was cut by a stylist. At this point it was only a few inches long. After my hair was cut the stylist looked at me and said,

Is your hair always this dry?

No suggestions, no recommendations. No nothing.

I left there in tears not knowing what to do. This was serious. Because for some reason part of our identity is wrapped up in our hair. I had no knowledge about how to take care of it and my hair looked terrible. I didn’t know what to do. So I did the only thing I knew how to do at the time.

I began to pray. Yes, that is how serious this was!

At the end of it all I decided to texturize my hair. It was a big decision since it went against my initial decision of going natural. But I did it and it made my hair more “manageable”. I had the curls without the headache. All I had to do was slap some gel in it and voila – curls. So for 7 years I texturized my hair, going from one stylist to the next – due to hairdressers moving to different cities etc. – which lead to overprocessing, breakage and inconsistent results with my texturizer. But it was long. The longest it had ever been, and that’s what mattered right? I coloured and highlighted – you name it I did it – because I wanted my long hair to be noticed.

And then one day in 2009 something wonderful happened. I gave birth to my beautiful first-born baby girl. And everything changed.

I looked at her and what I noticed was her hair. Where did she get that hair from? My hair texture is not like that? I was so fascinated. And it hit me. I needed to make sure that she loved herself and her hair as much as I did. So I made the decision in that instant that if I was going to instill this love in her that I would need to be the example.

So I chopped it off.

It was the most liberating decision I made, yet scary at the same time. Because I was made to believe that my hair texture was the least desirable of all. I didn’t have the silky waves that formed curls with the application of conditioner. I had an afro. And the hair was brittle. And coily. And ugly. So they say.

Determined to change my own mind and how I felt about myself I started to do as much research as possible into hair texture, hair care, ingredients etc. You name it I looked at it. I learned about curl patterns, hair types, textures and what each hair type needed – especially mine since it was always considered to be “hard to manage” hair.

I became a product junkie and realized that even though more and more products were coming to the market for naturally curly hair (because at that time it was becoming wildly popular), my specific hair texture was neglected.

So I decided to look into formulating a product to enhance the heck out of my curls and make my NATURAL hair texture pop. Not change it but bring out the best in it. And from there the Earthtones Naturals line was developed.

Now hear my heart ladies.

My passion is ensuring that when you look in the mirror you absolutely love, love, love your hair.

I acknowledge that you will have bad hair days. I still do. But my desire is for you to embrace what you have and rock your curls with confidence and fierceness.

The products important. But if I never made another product again understand that my heart is for educating and teaching and showing and assisting you and supporting you with your hair and hair care needs.

This is so important to me because I know what it feels like to not love my hair. To the point where the stress of it consumed me and dictated how I felt about myself. I’m much older and wiser now; but I have two little girls. And I need to be an example to them and teach them and show them how to really appreciate their unique beauty.

So let’s get a real discussion going about this. Why are you natural? What’s your story? Please comment below

[by Dr wellness]


Comments

  1. Von says

    I wear my hair in it’s natural state because this is the manner of which it grows from my scalp. I have felt most comfortable wearing it this way because this is who I am. I wasn’t born with straight tresses and never really felt the need that I had to have straight hair in order to feel beautiful.

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