Why are you natural?

This REALLY resonated with me. Let me explain. In my teenage years growing up in a small town where black people were the minority my top desire was to fit in. My skin colour was an obvious difference and I wasn’t able to change that. So what could I modify? My hair of course. So seeing these “popular” girls with their long, flowing straight hair and the desire to be one of them led me to relax my hair from a young age. To top it all off a strong sense of self-worth and confidence wasn’t … [Read more...]


13 Signs You Have a Straight Hair Mentality

While it’s great to see an increasing number of women embrace the beauty of their coily hair, I sometimes worry that many of the hair struggles these women are dealing with will eventually force them to give in and go back to their “stress free” straight hair. I empathize with these women because many of them had relaxed hair from a very young age so they really don’t know what their curly hair feels like and how it should behave when allowed to grow out. The comments and hair issues I’ve … [Read more...]


Natural Hair in the Corporate World

I attended a natural hair party some time ago and one  of the women made a comment that struck me as interesting.  We were discussing products and she informed me that her hair needs to be “neat” for work. She works as a graphic designer in a corporate office. When I asked her to clarify what she meant by “neat” she told me that she couldn’t have her hair “out” and made a wide gesture with her hands indicating that it couldn’t be big. Her hair was blow-dried straight and flat-ironed to encourage … [Read more...]


HAIR SHRINKAGE IS A THING, ACCEPT IT

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE TINY CLOSET Shrinkage is one of the top five most infuriating natural hair problems for most naturals. Everyone is trying to fight it or stop it before it even begins. It’s the devil to some while others just feel it’s something one must "deal" with. Some curls have minimal shrinkage while others contract to 50% or more of their true length. As we stretch our coils to show the world we actually have long hair, I’m wondering if we are all missing the point. Although … [Read more...]


Do I Need to Like My Natural Hair?

hair acceptance

Here's a post I wrote a few years ago but still rings true. Really the question should be do I need ANYONE to like my hair?  I guess that is a question only each person could answer and you might get more than a simple 'yes' and 'no'.  So, as I pose this question to you I will be the first to answer.....No, I don't but when I first went Natural I truly did. I'm an older Natural.  It might not seem like a big deal to some of younger women out here proudly strutting around with their … [Read more...]


Combating Negative Ideas About Black Hair

beauty by lee

After going natural 3 years ago, and seeing all the amazing benefits of doing so, I began to wonder why it had taken me so long to do so.  What kept me from learning and accepting my hair in its natural state?  Where did I get the idea that my hair had to be straightened in order to look presentable?  After some deep self-reflection, I realized that a lot of it had to do with how I had been influenced to think about hair.  I wanted to know what those influences were and how they affected … [Read more...]


Straight Hair: Stylish or Insecure?

Where does a woman draw the line when it comes to her style preferences? Is it more about her perception of beauty or is it more about what is best for her hair and lifestyle? If a curly consistently wears straight hair, is it a reflection of an insecurity or just a style preference? What is the difference between the 3a that is addicted to the CHI iron and the 4a that relaxes? I ask because there are some women with naturally curly hair who only wear their hair straight…I'm talking 95% of … [Read more...]


Is Texture Discrimination Still Relevant Or Are You Choosing To Subscribe To YouTubers Based On Content?

texture discussion

My natural texture is a little strange, well maybe not that strange, I have looser curls in the front and back, coily curls on the sides and the middle is the kinkiest portion of it all. When I started my hair journey, I wanted to find someone who had hair like mine. I was just getting into YouTube and blogs because I had no idea what to do with my own head of hair, and I wanted to see what other girls were doing with there own kinks. If I had to rank who I followed the most, I would say … [Read more...]


I’M NOT 26 AND NEITHER IS MY HAIR…

grey natural, mature natural

Well, it's true. I'm not 26...I'm not 30...not even 35 and I passed up 40 a couple of years ago. Yup, that's right....I'm 42 and will hit 43 around Labor Day. What does that all mean? That just means my hair is 42 too and it ain't like it was when I was 26 just like my body isn't either. I just wanted to share because if you are like me sometimes you miss the old you. The YOU that could eat anything, do anything, wear anything and do anything to your hair and you could bounce back with no … [Read more...]


“I DON’T LIKE MY NATURAL TEXTURE. SO WHAT?”

Sigh, I’m not sure if I’m truly ready to answer this question. This question is teetering in the back of the minds of many newbie naturals as they take the next step into their natural hair journey. It’s even in the relaxed woman’s mind as she weighs the decision to finally stop relaxing. It’s also in the mind of the natural who has been struggling with her new texture for styles and acceptance of her peers. Must all women with curly and coily hair accept and love her tresses? We live in an … [Read more...]


Are You Saving More Money Now That Are You Are Natural?

Even though I would like to hear your thoughts on this, I understand this is a question that I can only answer from a personal standpoint. I think the best way to answer it is with a simple comparison on how much I spent prior to going natural and now. I don’t think it’s fair to ask a new natural this question because back when I just went natural I spent TONS of money on different products trying to find my holy grail. But now, I’m pretty content with my stash and can say I’m no longer … [Read more...]


Is BIG Hair the New LONG Hair?

I LOVE BIG HAIR! I absolutely love it and crave it and desire it....I want my hair so big it runs into door jams when I walk into a room. I want my neck to hurt from carrying that bigness around. I want to be removed from movie theaters because NO ONE can see past my hair. Yea, I'm THAT kind of Natural! It's no secret that 'LENGTH' is the big winner for what most naturals are trying to achieve. There are tons of products on the market claiming to grow your hair faster than humanly possible … [Read more...]


Maybe Natural hair ISN’T for everybody…

Now, first breathe...breathe and calm your worried nerves about what I just said. I know many in the Natural hair community hate that statement....you know the one, Natural hair ain't for everybody. Yea, too many of us have heard this time and time again and most would not agree but I'm here to really delve into this feeling that many relaxed black women has said as well as feel. Maybe it's not for everybody and I'm here to tell you why. Going natural or returning Natural is a personal … [Read more...]


What Do Your Hair Accessories Say About You?

I have more headbands than a Natural should be allowed! It's sad and embarrassing and although I've retired many and hardly wear the others, what does it ALSO say about me?  Well, I can't speak for others but for me it says I used the headbands as a crutch, a shield, a barrier. I'm not saying everyone who has a drawer full of accessories has some sort of 'issue'. I just know that when I finally did the BC five years ago I wasn't exactly as comfortable with my natural tresses as I am … [Read more...]


Beauty and Length

For some reason, our society seems to associate a woman’s beauty with the length of her hair. Long, silky, and straight seem to be the ultimate goals of most women. So what happens when you cut your hair? Are you suddenly transformed into this new less beautiful version of yourself? There are so many women out there who desperately want to go natural, but are afraid of what they will look like during the “ugly stage.” There are even more women who are already natural, but flat iron their hair … [Read more...]


Why Does My Hair Look Like….?

I have a niece who recently asked the dreaded question that all mothers of curly-hair daughters fear: “Mommy, why doesn’t my hair look like…?” At the young age of 6 years old, my niece is developing an understanding of the differences between herself and her peers. She is growing into a little lady and as she matures, she has the natural tendency to compare. I have asked my mother this same question when I was a little girl and I know the day will come when my two daughters will approach … [Read more...]