I know before I even begin to write this that many of us can relate to each other when it comes to people wanting to touch our beautiful natural hair. As we walk with our afros piled high on our heads or our twist-outs cascading around our shoulders, it is understandable that many people will be curious about our newfound confidence in wearing our natural hair. Here are a few of my experiences with other people’s curiosity about my natural.
Coworker Confusion
There was the time I spent 2 hours in a car driving with some co-workers. One of my colleagues who has a bi-racial daughter began asking me for hair tips and comparing my hair texture to her daughters. She described mine as looking course, specifically she said, “It’s like cotton.” Seriously, that really happened! She then decided she wanted to see what my hair felt like and reached right for my twist-out without even asking first! To her surprise, my hair was actually soft, and did notfeel like a cotton ball!
Stranger Danger!
I remember the first time I wore an afro after going natural 3 years ago. It was summer time so I thought, ‘why fight the humidity, I’ll just let my hair get BIG!’ It was a glorious afro and went perfectly with my “Love Your Roots” t-shirt I just purchased. I left the house that day on my way to a family cookout, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I wasn’t in the store for 5 minutes before a white man came right up to me and saidat the top of his lungs, “Oh, I love your hair, sista!” while he fluffed my afro! I was shocked and confused and wanted to hide under a rock as everyone in the store looked over at me while this man pet me like an animal.
Kids Say the Funniest Things!
A few months ago a funnier than tragic incident happened. It happened after a church service. The whole service, my little cousin who was sitting next to me, kept looking at me funny. Finally, when service ended she came up to me and said, “Why don’t you straighten your hair? I think it would look better that way,” she says this while gently rolling one of my twists between her fingers with a grossed out look on her face. Keep in mind that my hair was really cute that day; I had a perfect twist-out. So, I replied, “Well, I like it this way. Don’t you think it’s pretty?” she comes back with, “Well, no. You should ask my mom how she does her hair, HER HAIR is pretty!” then she just walked away. I guess she set me straight!
These are just three stories (among many others) that come to mind! I am trying to take it all in stride and laugh about it instead of staying stuck in a state of shock and amazement. Each day gets better and I am trying to see it as people admiring my confidence. In some cases,however, it reminds me of how far we still need to comein understanding natural hair. Either way, I am enjoying all the experiences, good and bad, that come with being my true natural self.
What are your hair touching horror stories?
Contributor, Jane Lorraine, created Honoring Our HAIRitage as a platform to tell our own story, re-frame the negative messages about natural hair, and spread a more positive view of African American beauty by starting with understanding our history.
True Story: I was in the grocery store and a lady came out of nowhere and asked if she could touch my hair! I said “No, you cannot…” she said “Why not?” I answered, “Because I don’t want you to, and I don’t know where your hands have been…” Oh yes I said that. And the worse part is: she was coming at me with her hands as if I wouldn’t care. Oh and the even worse-er part is: she was a Black woman! I don’t care if you think you my sista and you can get a “sista card,” but no I don’t care who you are…touch my hair without permission and your entire body will be embedded in the wall…in pieces. I don’t play that “stranger touching my hair stuff”
I don’t know if the last story was “kids say the funniest things” or “kids say the most heartbreaking things”. I didn’t think that story was funny at all – just sad. I really hate (for the little girl) that she got the message at a really young age to dislike natural hair and seemingly view it as something disgusting and ugly. I mean…your hair is a part of YOU! It grows out of your scalp in the manner GOD intended it to and is an outward expression and decoration of your being. It is what it is as you are what you are. If you’re TRULY displeased and disgusted by that, then…good luck with life.
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