Curly vs Kinky: What’s the Difference?

The big question is what is the difference between curly and kinky hair? Many people do not seem to distinguish between curly and kinky hair but structurally there is a rather major difference. Now kinky hair can also be curly but curly hair is not always necessarily kinky!  (Reader question from Ehizele on why some hair is more ‘breakable’ will follow soon!!) Curly hair is simply a spiral or wave while kinky hair has a torsion twist (which can be felt as a permanent crimp) where the … [Read more...]


Natural Hair in the Corporate World

I attended a natural hair party some time ago and one  of the women made a comment that struck me as interesting.  We were discussing products and she informed me that her hair needs to be “neat” for work. She works as a graphic designer in a corporate office. When I asked her to clarify what she meant by “neat” she told me that she couldn’t have her hair “out” and made a wide gesture with her hands indicating that it couldn’t be big. Her hair was blow-dried straight and flat-ironed to encourage … [Read more...]


Do I Need to Like My Natural Hair?

hair acceptance

Here's a post I wrote a few years ago but still rings true. Really the question should be do I need ANYONE to like my hair?  I guess that is a question only each person could answer and you might get more than a simple 'yes' and 'no'.  So, as I pose this question to you I will be the first to answer.....No, I don't but when I first went Natural I truly did. I'm an older Natural.  It might not seem like a big deal to some of younger women out here proudly strutting around with their … [Read more...]


Combating Negative Ideas About Black Hair

beauty by lee

After going natural 3 years ago, and seeing all the amazing benefits of doing so, I began to wonder why it had taken me so long to do so.  What kept me from learning and accepting my hair in its natural state?  Where did I get the idea that my hair had to be straightened in order to look presentable?  After some deep self-reflection, I realized that a lot of it had to do with how I had been influenced to think about hair.  I wanted to know what those influences were and how they affected … [Read more...]


Straight Hair: Stylish or Insecure?

Where does a woman draw the line when it comes to her style preferences? Is it more about her perception of beauty or is it more about what is best for her hair and lifestyle? If a curly consistently wears straight hair, is it a reflection of an insecurity or just a style preference? What is the difference between the 3a that is addicted to the CHI iron and the 4a that relaxes? I ask because there are some women with naturally curly hair who only wear their hair straight…I'm talking 95% of … [Read more...]


Is Texture Discrimination Still Relevant Or Are You Choosing To Subscribe To YouTubers Based On Content?

texture discussion

My natural texture is a little strange, well maybe not that strange, I have looser curls in the front and back, coily curls on the sides and the middle is the kinkiest portion of it all. When I started my hair journey, I wanted to find someone who had hair like mine. I was just getting into YouTube and blogs because I had no idea what to do with my own head of hair, and I wanted to see what other girls were doing with there own kinks. If I had to rank who I followed the most, I would say … [Read more...]


I’M NOT 26 AND NEITHER IS MY HAIR…

grey natural, mature natural

Well, it's true. I'm not 26...I'm not 30...not even 35 and I passed up 40 a couple of years ago. Yup, that's right....I'm 42 and will hit 43 around Labor Day. What does that all mean? That just means my hair is 42 too and it ain't like it was when I was 26 just like my body isn't either. I just wanted to share because if you are like me sometimes you miss the old you. The YOU that could eat anything, do anything, wear anything and do anything to your hair and you could bounce back with no … [Read more...]


“I DON’T LIKE MY NATURAL TEXTURE. SO WHAT?”

Sigh, I’m not sure if I’m truly ready to answer this question. This question is teetering in the back of the minds of many newbie naturals as they take the next step into their natural hair journey. It’s even in the relaxed woman’s mind as she weighs the decision to finally stop relaxing. It’s also in the mind of the natural who has been struggling with her new texture for styles and acceptance of her peers. Must all women with curly and coily hair accept and love her tresses? We live in an … [Read more...]


What is acceptable hair?

acceptable hair

I recently enrolled my oldest daughter into preschool and in addition to thinking about immunization records, uniforms, and drop-off times I also have to consider my daughter’s hair. Unlike the parents of most little girls with straight hair, parents of curly haired girls have to ask themselves: Will my child’s school consider her hair a distraction to other children? And What does the school consider “acceptable hair?” We hear these news stories too often, such as: The story in … [Read more...]


Are You Saving More Money Now That Are You Are Natural?

Even though I would like to hear your thoughts on this, I understand this is a question that I can only answer from a personal standpoint. I think the best way to answer it is with a simple comparison on how much I spent prior to going natural and now. I don’t think it’s fair to ask a new natural this question because back when I just went natural I spent TONS of money on different products trying to find my holy grail. But now, I’m pretty content with my stash and can say I’m no longer … [Read more...]


Is BIG Hair the New LONG Hair?

I LOVE BIG HAIR! I absolutely love it and crave it and desire it....I want my hair so big it runs into door jams when I walk into a room. I want my neck to hurt from carrying that bigness around. I want to be removed from movie theaters because NO ONE can see past my hair. Yea, I'm THAT kind of Natural! It's no secret that 'LENGTH' is the big winner for what most naturals are trying to achieve. There are tons of products on the market claiming to grow your hair faster than humanly possible … [Read more...]


Beauty and Length

For some reason, our society seems to associate a woman’s beauty with the length of her hair. Long, silky, and straight seem to be the ultimate goals of most women. So what happens when you cut your hair? Are you suddenly transformed into this new less beautiful version of yourself? There are so many women out there who desperately want to go natural, but are afraid of what they will look like during the “ugly stage.” There are even more women who are already natural, but flat iron their hair … [Read more...]


Dealing with Negative Hair Comments

Since I cut my hair for the first time in April 2013, I’ve heard everything from “You look great” to “why would you cut off all that pretty hair.” Eventually, as time moved on and I became more comfortable with my new appearance, what other people thought of me mattered less. These days, if I hear a negative comment it doesn’t make me question myself and my decision to return to natural. But for just a minute, let’s take a look at negative comments through a little girl’s eyes. Think about … [Read more...]


Why Does My Hair Look Like….?

I have a niece who recently asked the dreaded question that all mothers of curly-hair daughters fear: “Mommy, why doesn’t my hair look like…?” At the young age of 6 years old, my niece is developing an understanding of the differences between herself and her peers. She is growing into a little lady and as she matures, she has the natural tendency to compare. I have asked my mother this same question when I was a little girl and I know the day will come when my two daughters will approach … [Read more...]


My Curly Hair Was Holding Me Back at Work

When I first went natural I was terrified of going out into the world with my new hair. It was my own hair but there was no straightening, wig, or weave to cover my curly texture. It was just me. I was received with welcome arms from most, but I did notice the silent stares by others. Despite that, I can honestly say I was treated no differently. Then, I switched jobs and it was like going from day to night. My immediate supervisor (who did not hire me, by the way) made it known that she … [Read more...]


Natural Doll Experiment

I read and watched this video a year ago, but started thinking about it the other day. It still saddens me. [Repost from Chime] A few years back I watched “A Girl Like Me” which is a documentary by Kiri Davis. Within the short film, Kiri did an experiment that some coined the “New Black Doll Test”. Like the original Black Doll test performed by Dr. Kenneth Clark, she asked a group of Black children which doll they preferred to play with between a White doll and a Black doll. The majority of … [Read more...]