Since I cut my hair for the first time in April 2013, I’ve heard everything from “You look great” to “why would you cut off all that pretty hair.” Eventually, as time moved on and I became more comfortable with my new appearance, what other people thought of me mattered less. These days, if I hear a negative comment it doesn’t make me question myself and my decision to return to natural.
But for just a minute, let’s take a look at negative comments through a little girl’s eyes. Think about how it would make her feel to hear her hair referred to in an unpleasant manner. Without the full ability to handle her emotions, how does she work through her feelings?
My daughters and I have to deal with this issue quite often. Last summer for instance, we both wore a wash ‘n go to a family cookout. One of my family members (someone really close to me) said to my daughter, “Oh, I guess mommy didn’t do your hair today, huh?” It upset me, but my first instinct (believe it or not) was to just laugh it off and keep moving. I didn’t want to come off as rude to someone I respect.
But, I looked at my daughter and realized that the comment wasn’t directed towards me. It was directed towards someone who could not defend herself. At that moment I understood that I am responsible for standing up for my daughter. The way that I handle this type of blatant negativity will teach her how to handle herself when she is on her own.
So instead of silently walking away I replied, “Actually I did do her hair. It’s called a wash ‘n go and we both think it looks great.” There was not round of applauds or triumphant music to follow, but I sure did feel good about my decision to stand firm.
So take these little nuggets of wisdom with you today:
1. Watch how you talk to your little one about his/her hair. Make sure you are not the negative commentator in your child’s life.
2. Do not tolerate unpleasant or derogatory language directed towards your little natural. It is your job to stand up for your child.
3. Stand firm, but remain positive. Remember that you are being watched and the way you react will shape the way your child reacts in similar situations.
4. Family members are sometimes the main source of negative hair comments. They need to know right away that their comment was neither welcome nor acceptable.
What has been your experience with negative natural hair comments?
[by Contributor, Cherrelle]
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