Are we too concerned with curl definition?

October 17, 2014

Ummm YES!! No ifs, ands or butts about it. We, for some reason, are conditioned to think that only the spiral, loose, bouncy, soft, no frizz having curls are perfect, and if our hair isn’t like that then it’s bad. Do me a favor and look in the mirror. Now, repeat after me; “My hair is beautiful because it’s MY hair.” One more time; “My hair is beautiful because it’s MY hair.” That just made my heart smile. Thank you.

No shade to my natural gals who are blessed with the spiral, loose, bouncy, soft, no frizz having curls, but as a natural with tighter, frizzier curls AND coils, I can definitely relate to being overly concerned about having the “perfect” curl. In the beginning of my journey, I was very excited about being natural and learning about all of the different products and styles. That excitement wore off after some time once I was diagnosed with the “why won’t my hair do that?” syndrome. Yep, it’s a debilitating disease affecting naturals everywhere. But I’ve since found the cure. It’s called, Self Love and Acceptance. Just a little each day will clear that right on up! Get you some.

Being too concerned and focused on the definition of your curls will have you missing out on that big, beautiful, untamed fro that’s being weighed down by products or caged in because it’s not defined, or because it doesn’t curl like the woman’s hair next to you. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, we have to stop working against our hair and work with it because even with all those products you’ve used, your hair will still win the fight every time. If your hair still poofs up and out after you’ve added an entire jar of gel, then guess what? That’s not what your hair is supposed to do. I’m not saying just leave it be and walk out of the house any ‘ol way. I’m saying work with your hair so that your poof is poppin’, your frizz is fabulous and your kinks are kickin’!

The one thing that helped me get over perfect curl definition was to stop looking at YouTube videos, Instagram pages and Google images of women with curl patterns and textures unlike my own. I started searching and following other naturals who I could relate to. I soon realized that I COULD wear the styles that the spiral, loose, bouncy, soft, no frizz having naturals wear, it would just look differently with my hair. Instantly I started to feel excited about my journey again. I was rediscovering my hair and loving it. Now, it’s true that no two curls are alike, but they can have similarities. Seeing women with hair similar to mine own it, accept it and rock it with confidence made me feel so good about my crown. I now follow naturals with all different types of curls because I like to give props where it’s due and I’m in a place where I am happy and confident in my hair and what it can do. Of course I have my days when I wish it would do a certain style, curl a certain way or be super defined, but then I move on. As long as you don’t let it upset you, that’s ok.

Defined, frizzy or no curls at all, it’s beautiful and it’s just hair. So don’t go getting all single strand knot over it;) Be you. Be beautiful. Be free.

Your Curlfriend,

youfrogirl